Ton Mile Trader

This is another obit that begins with "I don't even know where to begin." We are all aware of Paul's extensive filmography and can agree that he was one of the best - and of course will always get credit for being so. His enthusiasm and involvement in car racing also illustrates his competitive desire and commitment to winning. With that said - I would like to take this to where Paul deserves our full admiration.

Paul was a political activist - to my knowledge taking up some of the more liberal causes of his day. The libertarian segment of the Imarex Editorial Board can find fault with a belief or two that Paul may have held - yet, Paul's activism counted where it mattered most. The man was not afraid to back up his concern for those less fortunate with cold hard cash. There are many rich Hollywood types and others who will always grab the microphone (and spotlight) to espouse their favorite cause. But there are not many who are willing to donate a very significant portion of their net worth to the needy.

In the early 80s Paul started a salad dressing company, Newman's Own, and has since donated all after-tax profits to charitable causes. Months before his death, he turned over the entire value of Newman's Own, about $120 million, to charity. You probably never heard this before - because his donation wasn't about "Paul", it was about doing the right thing. Paul did the right thing.

Though a Butch Cassidy quote said "My, we seem to be a little short on brotherly love around here," we know that was not the case with Paul Newman. The man had a pretty cool hand - and we appreciate his vast contributions.

Quick addition from Ton Mile Trader Rock n Roll Editor Bobby D:

One of my jobs in my younger years was working for a driving service. One of my boss’s clients was Newman. He asked me if I could work a party at Newman's house parking cars for his daughter’s engagement party. About midway through the party, Newman came out to the driveway with his Bud bottle for a breather. He just hung out casually talking with me and the 2 other guys parking cars. Very down to earth, regular guy. The thing I liked most about him, other than his acting and philanthropy, was that according to what I've heard, he was a dedicated Bud man. What more needs to be said? 

... For those that haven't followed this one, I highly recommend giving it a few minutes of your time. Life is about keeping things in perspective, though this is very easy to forget. Too easy. All of us lose sight of what is truly important ALL THE TIME. I had a very mild run in with melanoma 10 years ago - and made all the usual promises to myself about living differently and not worrying about the "little things" in life. We have all done it. But we have therefore all fooled ourselves in this respect, as I would venture to guess that after a few weeks of changed behaviour, most of us go back to our old ways. I suggest you read up on Randy - and see how things played out between the day he made this video and the last days of his life. Hopefully your perspective on life will come back to where it belongs. Thank you Randy!!!

Class Clown: George Carlin RIP

Before getting to the tribute portion of this obit, I will start with the footnote. People who are only familiar George’s later work may not truly appreciate the comedic brilliance he displayed in his earlier days. Towards the back end of his career he veered, hard, towards political commentary while also gratuitously employing many of the seven words he is famous for reminding us that we weren’t allowed to say on television. His material became tedious and bitter – leading many first timers to his brand of humor to consider him extremely unfunny and unnecessarily vulgar. This is unfortunate. But with that out of the way, we can move on to the good stuff.

In his day, Carlin was a black-belt wise-ass with a complete mastery of the English language. His grip on the subtleties of communication allowed him to mock all aspects of everyday life. From the naïve check out lady who kindly asked you to “Have a Nice Day!’ <<Maybe I don’t want to have a nice day>>, to the airport public announcement person kindly asking you to “Get on the Plane” << No way , I’m getting in the plane. Let Evel Kneivel get on the plane!>>, no one was safe. And what exactly is “pre-boarding”, he wondered aloud. How can you board the plane before you board the plane? Good question, of which he had many. Another beauty, “Did you ever notice mice have no shoulders?”

And then there is this musing: “Did you ever notice that printed right on the cookie box it says, "Open here"? Well, what did they think I was gonna do? Move to Hong Kong to open up their cookies? Of course I'm gonna open 'em here. I'm gonna eat 'em here, I'd almost have to open 'em here. Thank God it doesn't say, "Open somewhere else." I'd be up all night tryin' to figure out an appropriate location.”

His most famous, and controversial, work involved the seven words you can’s say on television. Since this is a PG-13 rated report, we will not go into detail, but will end with his intro into this bit, which I find as brilliant as anything he did:

"There are 400,000 words in the English language, and there are seven of them you can't say on television. What a ratio that is: 399,993 to seven. They must really be bad."

Anyone recall this? No – it’s not the tanker market, but it is an incredible sight. Secretariat wins the Belmont Stakes by 31 lengths (1973). Pretty good, I must say. Though I know the crowd near Penn Station recalls there were only 5 horses in the Belmont affair, we can all agree this was stunning then - and stunning now. But it isn't the 1973 Belmont that brings about this post. It's actually the '73 Kentucky Derby. Secretariat won that race too, but the real story is that this once-in-a-century thoroughbred ran one and one quarter mile, with each quarter mile successively faster than the one before it. Got that? He got faster as the race went on. Imarex home gamers are advised to not try this at home, but you are advised to keep an eye on the tanker market. This sector apparently has a heart two and one half times the norm, and will run until pretty much forever. As soon as I figure out when "forever" ends, I will let you know.

How do you write an obit for the man who played John the Baptist, Ben Hur - and of course... Moses? I'm not really sure - but I think its fair to say that the man possessed an unparalleled level of "gravitas", and brought this weightiness into any role he played. In a world where Jim Belushi and Mario Lopez find their way onto our screens faster than polite society can squeeze the "off" button - there is an unfortunate lack of the upper tier, "Brando", class of actor. When these bigger type names stepped on stage, the center of the universe somehow shifted their way - and whatever it was that they were saying or doing, instantly demanded our full attention. Even when we knew it wasn't real - we still wanted to believe it was very real, and our minds accepted this contradiction without effort. Our French friends call it "Je ne sais quoi" - although we all know exactly what it was that he possessed - purpose and sincerity. If I am going to comment on my favorite Heston work, I have to add "Planet of the Apes" and "Soylent Green" to my list of best stuff. When these classics show up on the usual AMC type channels, my DVR goes into action.

So, for good order...one more time....with feeling...

"Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!